英语字幕来源：subscene.com 字幕翻译与制作：610/moki/小年糕/饽饽/744/聊无
消消气
我问你啊 你对自己的肤色满意不？ Let me ask you something. You happy with your color?
爱死了 我肤色是红木那种红褐色 Fuckin' love my color. Fuckin' mahogany.
- 对诶 你是有点像红木 - 是的 - Yeah. You're mahogany. - Yeah.
你可说对了 Hell, yeah.
- 那你对你的肤色满意吗？ - 不满意 - You happy with your color? - No.
- 不满意吗？ - 呃 怎么说 这算啥？算啥？ - Huh? No? - Ah, well, what is it? What is it?
你就像...像麦粥 You're like a... a porridge,
麦片粥 淀粉糊 类似的东西 a cream of wheat, a farina, that kind of shit.
- 白人的肤色就是这些了 - 对 - That's what white people's skin tone is. - Right.
- 款式不同的麦片粥罢了 - 对的 对的 - It's just different kinds of hot cereal. - Right, right.
黑人的肤色呢 就像... Black people, your skin tone's like,
咖啡里加入不同体积的牛奶 it depends on the amount of milk you put in the coffee.
真他妈准确 我就像Yoo- hoo饮料一样 Fuckin' right. I'm like a fuckin' Yoo- hoo.
Yoo- hoo饮料：一种巧克力色的饮料
- 喝前摇一摇 摇出好味道 - Yoo- hoo饮料的肤色是个好颜色 - I shake that motherfucker up. I'm shakin' it up. - Yoo- hoo's a good color.
- 真他妈的好颜色 操 - 是 Yoo- hoo颜色好极了 - Fuckin' good color. Shit. - Yeah, Yoo- hoo's a really good color.
对 Yeah.
啊？ What?
拿去 There you go.
介于... Somewhere between...
- 不是 你等下？ - 什么...什么鬼？ - Wait, excuse me? - What the... what the fuck?
嘿 拉里 Hey. Larry.
- 兰迪 对 - 你记对了 - Randi. Yeah. - You got it.
- 我是苏西的朋友 - 我知道 知道知道 嗯 - I'm a friend of Susie's. - I know, I know, I know. Yeah.
新年快乐 Happy New Year.
呃 Eh.
说实话 你现在说新年快乐 It's a little late, frankly,
有点晚了 你知道吧 for the "Happy New Years," you know?
为啥？才过几周 不是吗？ Why? It just happened a couple of weeks ago, right?
嗯 几周就太长了 Yeah, that's too long.
如果有法定时效 The statute of limitations
说新年快乐的时效已经过了 has kind of run out on the "New Years."
- 三天的时效 足够了 - 三天？ - Three days. Plenty. - Three days?
另外 不是啥事儿都得快乐 By the way, everything doesn't have to be happy.
为啥一切事情都必须要快乐呢？ Why does everything have to be happy?
- 我今天就挺好的 - 那可不 瞧瞧你 - I'm having a pretty good day. - Yeah. Look at you.
- 这挺大了哈 - 是 我这快八个月大了 - That's, that's huge. - Yeah, I'm about eight months.
你如果需要起名的建议 找我就对了 If you need some name tips, I'm your guy.
- 真的 - 那你推荐什么名字？ - Yeah. - What would you suggest?
大概可以取一个 像瑞典人的名字？ Maybe something, uh, Swedish, perhaps?
呃 那个...我丈夫是黑人 Yeah, I'm... my husband is African- American,
所以我觉得那不太...怎么说呢 不太搭 so I'm not sure that would, I don't know, gel.
你喜欢提那茬事儿 不是吗？ You like saying that, don't you.
- 我喜欢提他是黑人？ - 嗯 - Do I like saying that he's African- American? - Yeah.
我感觉你很想让我知道那个 I think you wanted me to know.
你知道了会改变对我的看法吗？ Does it change your opinion of me?
可以说会 也可以说不会 In some ways, yes. In some ways, no.
- 行吧 - 好叻 - Okay. - All right.
祝你锻炼愉快 Enjoy your workout.
你干嘛呢？ What are you doing?
啥？ What?
你这...你这跑啥呢？ What's with the... What's with the jogging?
我...我在锻炼啊 I'm... I'm working out.
- 锻炼？ - 是啊 - Working out? - Yeah.
你...你这都晃到胎儿了 You, you're jostling the fetus.
你这情况...你不能跑步吧 You can't... You can't run in your condition.
呃 我可以跑啊 Uh, yes, I can.
我的助产师建议我 I was advised by my midwife
需要坚持锻炼 that I should continue to work out.
那你不如再咨询一下你的锁匠 Maybe you want to consult your blacksmith.
看看他又怎么说 See what he has to say about it.
呃 我不想和你争 好吧 但是呢... Oh, I don't, uh, want to get into it with you, but, um...
我的胎儿 我来管 行吗？ my fetus, my problem, okay?
我同情那胎儿 I pity that fetus.
天哪 我看不下去了 Oh, my God. I can't watch this.
- 新年快乐 - 嗯嗯 新年快乐 - Happy New Year. - Yeah, Happy New Year.
嘿嘿嘿 消停点儿 伙计 Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Come on, man.
- 我得保持干燥 - 你这搽太多粉了 - You gotta stay dry. - You're over- talcing here.
- 呃噢！ - 新年快乐 - Ugh! - Happy New Year.
嗯 嗯 Yeah, yeah.
- 我在那儿都没法呼吸了 - 是吧 - I couldn't even breathe in there. - Right.
他把爽身粉往腋下搽 He was putting talc under his arm,
往蛋上也搽...恶心死了 on his balls... It was disgusting.
- 我说 谁还用那玩意儿？ - 我经常用啊 - I mean, who still uses that? - I use that shit all the time.
- 那东西不安全吧 - 你要是过敏 就肯定不安全 - Can't be good for you. - Not if you're allergic to it.
我雷姑妈那次搽了一些爽身粉 My Auntie Rey put some of that shit on her,
直接过敏性休克了 and went into anaphylactic shock.
- 真的假的？ - 真的 全身发抖 把她送去急诊室 - Really? - Yeah. Started shakin' and shit. Took her to the ER.
- 那家伙 都上胃泵了 - 太吓人了 - Man, they had to pump her stomach for nothing. - That's incredible.
那可不 老哥 Yeah, man.
MAGA: Make America Great Again 美国复兴
- 你看这人戴了个MAGA帽 - 是哦 你别说... - Look at this guy in the MAGA hat. - Boy. You don't see...
- 洛杉矶看不到几个戴这的 不是么？ - 他妈真看不到几个 - You don't see many of those in LA, do you? - You fuckin' don't.
你知道我注意到什么吗？没人把那玩意儿反着戴 Know what I noticed? No one ever wears those hats on backwards.
我说 你即使想挨揍 也希望能看到对方从前面来 I mean, if you're gonna get your ass kicked, you want to see it coming.
这个好笑 I like that.
- 是吧 - 乔家摩卡 - Yeah. - Mocha... Mocha Joe's
摩卡乔 我认识一个摩卡乔 Mocha Joe. I know a Mocha Joe.
乔 家
摩 卡
- 你想喝咖啡吗？ - 行啊 走 - You want some coffee? - Sure. Okay.
- 咱进去 - 喝杯拿铁 - Let's go in here. - Get a little latte.
- 谢谢光临 感谢支持 - 也谢谢你 - Thank you so much. I appreciate it. - Thank you.
祝一切顺利 Have a great day.
- 哇哦！别来无恙啊 - 你瞧瞧 你瞧瞧 - Whoa! Blast from the past. - Oh, boy, oh, boy.
- 拉里大卫 哇哦 - 摩卡乔！ - Larry David. Wow. - Mocha Joe!
- 好久不见啊 老哥 你来这儿干嘛 - 嘿！ - Long time, no see, man. What are you doin' here? - Hey!
- 你叫？ - 里昂 - What's your name? - Leon.
- 里昂 很高兴见到你 - 这也太巧了 - Leon. Nice to meet you. - This is unreal.
你敢信吗？哈？两位点些啥？ Do you believe it? Huh? What can I get you guys?
我点一个...你这儿有司康饼吗？ I'll get a... Do you have scones?
有啊 就那儿 好吃又好看 Yeah. Right there. They're beautiful.
真棒 那我要一个司康饼 再来一杯咖啡 Great. I'll have a scone, and a, uh, cup of coffee.
- 咖啡和司康饼 你呢 里昂？ - 给我来杯拿铁 - Cup of coffee and a scone. What about you, Leon? - Let me get a latte.
好叻 一个司康饼 一杯咖啡 一杯拿铁 All right. One scone, a coffee, a latte.
一共是 11.5 美元 That's $11.50.
给你 零钱你就留着吧 There you go. Keep the change.
噢 谢谢你的小费 我很感激 Oh, thanks for the tip. Appreciate it.
要杯拿铁和咖啡 谢谢 A latte and a coffee, please. Thank you.
嗯 Mm.
有点软 It's a little soft.
什么 司康饼吗？ What, the scone?
是的 司康饼应该是硬的 这个和小松糕一样 Yeah. Scones are supposed to be hard. This is like a muffin.
呃 并不是 司康饼得是新鲜的 Well, not really. It's supposed to be fresh.
是新鲜并且硬的 Yeah, fresh hard.
嗯 总之那是新鲜的司康饼 Well, that's a fresh scone.
我不确定你懂司康饼是什么 摩卡乔 I'm not quite sure you know what a scone is, Mocha Joe.
- 噢 我可懂司康饼了 - 你真懂吗？ - Oh, I know what a scone is. - Do you?
- 懂 - 你对司康饼的定义可能不如我准确 - Yeah. - You may have a looser definition of scone than I do.
但我不认为这可以有不同的理解 I don't think it's really open to interpretation, though.
你要这个司康饼 还是不要？ You want the scone, or not?
要 我要这个司康饼兼小松糕 Yeah, I'll keep the scone- slash- muffin.
- 所以你会留着这个司康饼？ - 是的 松糕 留着 - So you're gonna keep the scone? - Yeah. Muffin. Yeah.
请享用你的司康饼 拉里 Enjoy the scone, Larry.
- 嘿 你有丹麦糕饼吗？ - 呃 没有 - Hey, you got any Danishes? - Uh, no.
那可真差劲 You're fuckin' up.
下一位 Next.
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
- 你看看这桌子 你敢信吗？ - 天 - Look at this table. Do you believe it? - Wow.
- 天哪 - 嘿 那个 嘿 摩卡乔 - Wow. - Hey, uh, hey, Mocha Joe.
怎么了？ Yeah?
- 你看下你这桌子 - 桌子怎么了？ - Check out this table. - Yeah?
摇...你这桌子太摇了 It's a wobb... You got a wobbly table, here.
是 那你别摇它呗 Yeah, well, stop moving it.
我别摇它？我...我手一放上去 Stop moving it? It's... Every time I, I, I lean on it,
- 它就会乱动 - 你脚踩着它点儿 别人都这么做的 - it's gonna move. - Put your foot on it, like everybody else does.
我坐这儿还得把脚踩上去？ I'm gonna sit with my foot on the table?
是的 这样就能固定桌子 是这个地面不平 Yeah, that's how you hold it down. The floors are wobbly.
- 摩卡乔 我能给你一点小建议吗？ - 你说 - Mocha Joe, can I give you a little advice? - Yeah.
没人喜欢会摇的桌子 Nobody likes a wobbly table.
桌子摇一摇 你的顾客就都没了 Fastest way to lose customers is wobbly tables.
我有个叔叔腿不稳 也摇 I got an uncle with a wobbly leg.
我就完全受不了他 I can't stand that motherfucker.
成天靠这儿靠那儿的 Leaning on shit all the time.
嗯 Hmm.
啊 Aah.
尝尝你的咖啡 Taste your coffee.
- 冷的 - 它冷了 - Cold. - It's cold.
嘿 兄弟 Hey, man.
- 是 - 嘿 摩卡乔 - Yeah. - Hey, Mocha Joe.
怎么？ What?
这咖啡是冷的 This is cold coffee.
哇 哇 你等下 Whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
那杯咖啡才不是冷的 That coffee is not cold.
- 你的咖啡是冷的吧？ - 你的咖啡是热的 对吧？ - Is your coffee cold? - Your coffee's hot, right?
听着 我们不想当什么找茬的混蛋 Look, we don't wanna be fuckin' haters right now,
但这玩意儿是冷的 but this shit is cold.
我 我能不能... Can, can I get a n...
- 我能不能换一杯？ - 不能 - Can I get a new cup? - No.
- 所以你不会给我重做一杯了 - 不会 - So you're not gonna give me a new cup. - No.
因为这杯咖啡没冷 'Cause that's a hot cup of coffee.
- 我给你的时候它是热的 - 它是热的？ - It was hot when I gave it to you... - That's a hot cup of coffee?
这是杯热咖啡 我交到你手里的时候它是热的 It's a hot cup of coffee. It was hot when I gave it to you.
你敢把鼻子泡到热咖啡里吗？ Would you stick your nose in a hot cup of coffee?
为什么你要把鼻子... Why would you stick your nose...
因为我要证明给你看 Because I want to prove to you
这咖啡是冷的 你看好了 that it's cold coffee. Watch this.
冷咖啡 That's cold coffee.
- 这啥都说明不了 只能证明 - 这不证明了吗 - That doesn't prove anything except... - It does.
...证明你是个又老又秃的精神病！ ... that you're an old, bald nut!
- 你说我是什么？ - 我就这么说了 - What'd you say to me? - You heard me.
- 现在给我滚 你个又老又秃的王八蛋！ - 我巴不得！ - Now get out, you old, bald fuck! - With pleasure!
你以为我想坐在这个桌子摇来摇去的地方 You think I want to sit here with a wobbly table,
- 喝冷掉的咖啡吗？ - 可不是吗 - and drink cold black coffee? - Yeah.
- 不了 谢谢你啊 - 是 好极了 滚吧 - No, thank you. - Yeah, good. Get out.
嘿 你说拉里的那三个词 他可能占一两个吧 你用三个是不对的 Hey. Larry might be one or two of those things, but not all three.
新年快乐 拉里 Happy New Year, Larry.
新年快乐 摩卡乔！ Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!
早安 拉里 吃了吗 Morning, Larry. How are you?
- 这狗你的？ - 这是博热！ - Your dog? - Bogey!
他在用我的碗吃东西 He's eating out of my bowl.
哦 这碗我从厨房里拿的 Oh, I just got that bowl from the kitchen.
我以为这是办公室公用的 I thought it was an office bowl.
这是办公室给人公用的 It's an office bowl for humans.
不给狗用 Not for dogs.
我是说 我回家前会洗这个碗 I mean, I wash it at the end of the day
- 用洗碗液 然后擦干 再... - 不 这样也不行 - with soap, and then I dry it, and... - No, that's not enough.
它需要除菌 我不能 不能... It needs to be sterilized. I can't, I can't...
和一条狗共用一个碗 share a bowl with a dog.
- 呃 我这有封给你的信 - 啊！ - Uh, I've got some mail for you. - Ah!
- 还有些别的东西 - 等等 别动 - And there's some other stuff. - Wait a second. Wait a second.
- 哎哟这个 - 嗯哼 - Look at this. - Yeah.
- 新纹的？ - 算新吧 - Is that new? - Relatively.
好吧 这...这啥玩意啊？为什么一只眼睛是闭着的？ All right, what... What the hell is that? Why is one eye closed?
哈？有什么意思吗？ Huh? What is all that?
哦 这么说吧 这有点私人 我不想... Oh, well, it's kind of personal. I don't...
我不想让别人都知道 I don't share it with everybody.
哈 是很私人 Yeah, it's very personal.
全世界都能看到 但这是个人隐私 The whole world can see it, but it's personal.
- 没办法 它在我身上 - 好吧 好吧 - Well, it's on my body. - Okay, okay.
嘿 我有个问题你回答下 行么？ Hey, let me ask you something, okay?
如果我走进来 我头上有犄角 If I walked in here with a horn on my head,
你会问"你头上装个角干嘛呢？" would you say, "What are you doing with a horn on your head?"
我是不是也可以说"哦 我就不告诉你 这是个人隐私" I'd say, "Oh, I can't tell you. It's personal."
我是因为发生了重要的事才纹这个纹身的 I got the tattoo because of an event in my life,
它对我有特殊的含义 and it means something special to me.
会让我想起那件事 It's a reminder of that to me.
- 这是只属于我的 - 是吗？ - It's just for me. - Really?
那你为啥不纹在屁股上？ Then why didn't you put it on your ass?
我这有些业务经理的文件需要你签字 I have something from the business manager that you need to sign.
啊 行啊 Ah. All right.
- 好 - 呃 这只是... - Okay. - Uh, it's just...
这里写姓名首字母 还有日期 There's an initial, and a date,
我觉得需要三个签名 and I think three signatures.
借用一下？ May I?
哦 你在干嘛？这是我的衣服 Oh, what are you doing? That's my shirt.
呃 我在...擦我的眼镜 Well, I was... cleaning my glasses.
你不能用我的衣服擦眼镜 You can't clean your glasses with a shirt that I'm wearing
我还穿着呢 while I'm wearing it.
这很不礼貌 越界了 It's inappropriate. It's crossing a boundary.
- 不好？ - 不好 - No good? - No good.
嗯 行吧 Hmm. Okay.
我知道 苏西很喜欢现在这个房子 比前一个还喜欢 I know. Susie loves this house even more than her last one.
这么说 前一个房子烂透了 Well, the last one stunk.
那个太大了 It was too big.
然后他叫我... 他叫我老秃子 And he called me, uh... He called me old and bald.
- 真的？ - 我对天发誓 - What? - I swear to God.
听着 我要跟你说个事 我爱咖啡 You know, I'll tell you something. I love coffee,
而且我爱他家做的咖啡 但你是我的老... and I love his coffee, but you're one of my old...
你是我最久的朋友 You are my oldest friend.
我要抵制他们店 I'm gonna boycott that place.
- 你要抵制摩卡乔家？ - 我要抵制 - You're gonna boycott Mocha Joe's? - I'm boycotting.
- 嘿！ - 怎么样？ - Hey! - How about that?
- 我要抵制摩卡乔 他不能这样对我的朋友 - 嘿 - I'm boycotting Mocha Joe. You can't do that to my friend. - Hey.
- 瞧瞧这人 瞧瞧 - 这才是真朋友 - Look at this guy. Look at this guy. - That's a friend.
我们还住同一家医院 We were in the same hospital together.
- 他不能惹我的朋友 - 可不是 - He can't fuck with my friend. - All right!
- 我去拿点咖啡 - 好 - I'm gonna get some coffee. - Okay.
喝的开心 Enjoy your coffee.
- 他要抵制 - 他要抵制 这可是玩大的了 - He's boycotting. - He's boycotting. That's a big move.
- 玩的够大的 抵制 - 我的天 - That's a big move, a boycott. - Oh, my God.
谁邀请你了？你这头猪 Who invited you? You pig.
哈维韦恩斯坦(Harvey Weinstein)：被《纽约时报》披露性侵丑闻的好莱坞大亨
不 呃 南希 他不是哈维韦恩斯坦 No, uh, Nancy, that is not Harvey Weinstein.
- 杰夫 我真的很抱歉 我妹妹是从外地来的 - 哦！ - I'm so sorry, Jeff. My sister's from out of town. - Oh!
- 我真的 真的很抱歉 - 哦天啊 我实在... - I'm just, I'm really sorry. - Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so...
- 这是我办的派对 - 哦天哪！我太抱歉了 - I'm the host of the party. - Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
对 我不是哈维韦恩斯坦 Yes, I'm not Harvey Weinstein.
- 对不起 很感谢你 我很抱歉 - 没事 - I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. - Okay.
他像哈维韦恩斯坦 他看起来就是 He looks like Harvey Weinstein. He looks just like him.
- 什么鬼？- 没事啦 - What the hell? - Okay.
所有人都认错 女人 男人... 管他了 All the time, women, men... doesn't matter.
- 靠 - 然后突然间我就变成他了 - Geez. - And suddenly, I'm this guy.
- 不敢相信 - 不敢相信 - Unbelievable. - Unbelievable.
我饿死了 哦！有猪肉卷 I'm starving. Oh! Pigs in a blanket.
- 还有啥更好的？ - 哦... - What's better? - Oh...
我一晚上都跟在她屁股后面 但她总是没剩下 I've been following her around all night, but she never has any.
一下就被抢光了 They go fast.
我不关心其他东西有多好吃 I don't care how foo - foo the other items are,
- 所有人都喜欢 猪肉卷 - 是啊 - and people love 'em, pigs in a blanket. - Yeah.
拉里 你的行为很令人不快 Larry, I am extremely displeased with your behavior.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
美国第十六任总统... the 16th president of these United States...
- 哈 哈 你真会说笑 - ...亚伯拉罕林肯 - Yeah, yeah. You're funny. - ... Abraham Lincoln.
让我们掌声有请 Let's give him a big round of applause.
- 说的跟你懂时尚似的 - 这是我的荣幸 - Like you know anything about fashion. - It is such an honor
能站在你身边 总统先生 to be standing near you, Mr. President.
这帽子很像公爵夫人凯特的同款 This hat is very similar to the one that Kate Middleton wore.
- 好吗？你懂个屁 - 哦 是吗？ - Okay? You don't know shit. - Oh, really?
- 我知道你看起来很好笑 这怎么样？ - 好 好 行吧 - I know you look ridiculous. How about that? - Yeah. Yeah, fine.
你太奇怪了 你为什么要在健身房骚扰我朋友兰迪 You act ridiculous. Why are you harassing my friend Randi at the gym?
嘿 你知道吗？总有人要替胎儿说话吧 Hey, you know what? Somebody has to stand up for that fetus.
你对胎儿懂什么了 You don't know anything about fetuses.
我知道当人怀孕八个月 I know you don't go on a treadmill
不该用跑步机 不用多聪明也能 eight months pregnant. You don't have to be a genius
- 想到这点 - 为什么？为什么不该？ - to figure that out. - Why not? Why not?
你觉得对胎儿有益吗？蹦蹦跳跳的？ Do you think that's good for fetus? All that jostling?
那也不需要你这个男人去教兰迪！ It's not your job to mansplain to Randi!
- 杰夫 有几个人我想带你见一下 - 好 - Jeff, there's people I want you to meet. - Okay.
林肯的《葛底斯堡演说》
"八十七年前 "Four score and seven years ago,
我们先辈在这个大陆上创立了 "our fathers brought forth to this continent
一个新国家 "a new nation,
它孕育于自由之中 "conceived in liberty,
- 奉行…" - 拉里 新年快乐 - dedicated... " - Larry, Happy New Year.
你说晚了 You're too late.
"新年快乐" 得了吧 都过去三周了 "Happy New Year." Come on. It's three weeks.
- 这都快一个月了吧? - 太扯淡了 - Isn't it almost a month already? - It's ridiculous.
啊 瞧瞧 这些人就是没话找话 Ah, look, well, they have nothing to say, these people.
- 天呐 - 何况你哪儿知道新年就是快乐的一年呢 - Oh, man. - How do you know it's a happy new year, anyway?
- 难以置信 - 什么? - I can't believe it. - What?
呃 我又错过她了 真不可思议 Aw, I missed 'em again. It's unbelievable.
嘿 拉里! 嘿! Hey, Larry! Hey!
- 嘿 - 近来如何? - Hey. - How you been?
- 不错 - 好啊 很高兴见到你 - Good. - Yeah, great to see you.
该死 是罗森 Shit. That's Rosen...
菲尔罗森塔尔(Phil Rosenthal)：《人人都爱雷蒙德》的创作人
- 菲尔罗森塔尔 - 菲尔罗森塔尔 - Phil Rosenthal. - Phil Rosenthal.
他没完没了地谈他的节目 He just talks about his shows all the time.
雷罗曼诺(Ray Romano)：《人人都爱雷蒙德》主演
他自己的节目 更别提…要说罗曼诺五百多回 His own show, and how about... Romano is on 500 times a day.
还有《菲尔来蹭饭》 Somebody Feed Phil.
天啊 全世界各地瞎折腾 Oh, geez, with all the chaos in the world,
在第三世界国家 去蹭饭? in third- world countries, feed him?
他应该去请别人吃饭 He should be feeding other people.
他就应该叫《菲尔来请客》 It should be called Phil Feeds Everybody.
- 你知道今晚我要对他做什么吗? - 做什么? - You know what I'm gonna do with him tonight? - What's that?
大告别 The Big Goodbye.
我要用大告别 I'm employing The Big Goodbye.
- 那是历史上最妙的一招 - 是不是特别妙? - It's the greatest move in history. - How great is The Big Goodbye?
打从你教给我这招儿 我已经用了很多年了 I've been doing it for years, since you taught me.
- 你整晚无视某个人… - 没错 - You avoid the person all night... - Of course.
到了快结束你准备离开的时候 And then at the end, when you're about to leave,
你过去"噢!" 给他们一个大大的告别 you go, "Ah!" You give 'em a big goodbye.
- 然后他们就会感觉良好… - 拜！再见 祝你和你的家人好 - Then they feel good... - Bye! Goodbye and good luck to you and your family.
他们会很高兴你和他们一起 They're very happy that you spent this time with them
度过那个晚上最后的时光 然后… at the end of the night, and...
- 然后你悄咪咪地溜出去 - 太绝了 - and you slip out. - It's genius.
呃 你愿意做我们过去那套口技木偶表演吗? Um, are you up for doing our old ventriloquist act?
- 我也不知道 是苏西想看 - 好呀 我可以 - I don't know. Susie wants to see it. - Yeah, I'll do it.
- 你愿意？ - 对呀 - You will? - Yeah.
好的 很好 我们能马上就演吗？ Okay, good. Can we do it pretty soon?
因为我想让特德在走前看完 Because I want Ted to see it before he leaves.
- 没问题 - 谢谢你 - Of course. - Thank you.
还是特德 Ted.
我想谢谢杰夫和苏西 I'd like to thank Jeff and Susie
- 邀请我们来到他们美丽的家 - 我喜欢另一个家 - for inviting us into their beautiful home. - I like the other one.
呃 我觉得这座房子非常好 Well, I think the house is very nice.
他们这股鱼腥味儿是免费提供的吗? Did they throw that fish smell in for free?
还有 还有 看看其他乐意加入我们的朋友们 And, and, and look at all our other friends who are kind enough to join us.
- 这位是 这位是特德丹森 - 哇喔 他可真帅! - There's, there's Ted Danson. - Wow, is he handsome!
他自己肯定这样觉得 He sure thinks so.
噢！ Oh!
苏西呢？我们无与伦比的女主人 And how about Susie, our inimitable hostess?
苏西 我很喜欢这幅窗帘 Susie, I love the curtains,
但你为什么要拿它做夹克? but why did you make a jacket out of it?
噢！ Oh!
- 玩得开心吗？ - 开心？你逗我呢？ - Are you having a good time? - A good time? Are you kidding me?
我和一群讨厌鬼在一块 吃的很烂 喝的也不好 I'm with a bunch of stiffs, the food sucks, the drinks aren't strong enough,
而且你的手还放在了我屁股上 and your hand is up my ass.
嘿 别一副颓样 Hey. Don't look so down.
你生气啦？ Are you mad?
- 我们亲一下然后和好吧 - 我… - Let's kiss and make up. - I'm...
- 我才不会去亲一个人偶 - 我就不会 她感冒了 - I'm not gonna kiss a dummy. - I wouldn't. She's got a cold.
噢 表演结束！ Aw. That's the end!
太棒了！ Bravo!
太棒了！ 谢丽儿和拉里 Bravo! Cheryl and Larry.
谢丽儿和拉里 Cheryl and Larry.
多好的观众啊 谢谢你们 谢谢你们 What a great audience. Thank you. Thank you.
- 太好了 谢谢你们的莅临 - 我就爱看这个 - Fantastic. Thank you all for coming. - I love that bit.
- 谢谢光临 - 一直都很喜欢 - Thanks for coming. - Always loved that bit.
- 你真有趣 - 谢谢你 - You were very funny. - Thank you.
- 对不起 我得去赶飞机 - 好的 - I'm sorry, but I gotta catch my plane. - Okay.
其实 你猜啥 最好不要 我不想得感冒 Actually, you know what, I better not. I don't wanna catch a cold.
- 喔 我懂 你要保持… - 对不起 是的 - Oh, I know. You gotta stay... - I'm sorry. Yeah.
- 我落地后给你打电话 - …保持健康 好的 - I'll call you when I land. - ... healthy. Okay.
你不必在落地后给她打电话 You don't need to call her when you land.
要是发生空难了 我们都会知道的 If there's a plane crash, we'll know about it.
- 好了 我送送你 特德 - 谢谢你们 - Okay. I'll walk you, Ted. - Thank you, guys.
- 谢谢你来 - 今晚真棒 - Thank you for coming. - That was a great evening.
啊！你在这儿 可算找到了 Ah! There you are. Finally gotcha.
先生 你得出去 Sir, I need you to get out of here.
出去？你在说什么？ Get out of here? What are you talking about?
我需要你离开这个房间 因为你一直在色眯眯地盯着我… I need you to leave this room 'cause you've been ogling me...
- 整个晚上 - 盯着你？你疯了吧？ - the entire night. - Ogling you? Are you nuts?
- 我 我色眯眯地盯着的是篮子里的猪肉卷 - 我… - I, I, I've been ogling the pigs in a blanket. - Am I...
我的天 行吧 Oh, my God. Yeah.
- 不是第一次了 - 什么啊？我想来一个 - Not the first time this has happened. - What? I want one.
哇喔 Wow.
- 啊 嘿 - 嘿 见谅 - Ah. Hey. - Hey. Excuse me.
- 哈？我们是不是很受欢迎？ - 我们很受欢迎 - Huh? Were we a hit? - We were a hit.
- 我们是这场派对的高光时刻 - 这场派对的高光 - We were the highlight of this party. - Highlight of the party.
是的 我是说 虽然很久没练了 但我们还是宝刀未老 Yeah, I mean, it's a been a while, but we've still got it.
- 干什么…你在干什么？ - 我要回家 - What are... What are you doing? - I'm gonna go home.
- 我就刚叫了个 Uber - 叫 Uber? - I'm just getting an Uber. - Uber?
- 我载你回家啊 - 你不必麻烦了吧 - I'll take you home. - You don't have to do that.
呃 没什么的 Ah, it's nothing.
- 好吧 好吧 谢谢你 那真是… - 呃…就给我… - Okay. Okay. Thank you. That's... - Um, just give me...
给我两分钟 Give me two minutes.
好的 好的 谢谢 Okay. All right. Thanks.
不会吧? Are you kidding?
真不敢相信我整晚都没和你说上话 I can't believe I didn't get a chance to talk to you all night,
现在我得走了 and now I'm on my way out.
- 可真遗憾 - 你是在给我个大告别吗? - What a shame. - You giving me The Big Goodbye?
- 大告别? 你…你在说什么? - 大告别 - The Big Goodbye? What are you... What are you talking about? - Big Goodbye.
你一整晚都无视我 然后你觉得你可以 Where you avoid me all night, and then you think you can
用一个大告别来弥合 我懂的 我见多了 cure it by having a Big Goodbye. I know. I've been around.
我不是在给你大… 我从来没听说过这个大告别 I wasn't giving you a Big... I never heard of the Big Goodbye.
这看起来很像大告别 It seems like a Big Goodbye.
不 这不是的 这就是个正常告别 No, it wasn't. It was just a normal goodbye.
- 这是个正常告别 - 是吗? - That's a normal goodbye. - Yeah?
- 是啊 - 真的吗? - Yeah. - Really?
是啊 我没有要无视你 Yeah. I wasn't trying to avoid you.
开什么玩笑呢?为什么我要无视你? Are you kidding? Why would I avoid you?
礼拜三和我一起吃顿午饭吗? Have lunch with me Wednesday?
我们有很多可聊的 听听看 We have a lot to talk about. Listen,
我们在做葡萄牙语版的《人人都爱雷蒙德》 we're doing Raymond in Portugal.
是的 《人人都爱乔阿姆》 Yeah. Everybody Loves Joam.
多好 我也能一起去葡萄牙 It's fantastic. I get to go.
然后我还有整个《菲尔来蹭饭》的节目 And then I have the whole Somebody Feed Phil show.
我想让你来做我的节目 我想和你一起去埃塞俄比亚 I want you to do my show. I want to go to Ethiopia with you.
- 埃塞俄比亚 - 埃塞俄比亚非常好 - Ethiopia. - Ethiopia's great.
我觉得我不是很想去埃塞俄比亚… I don't think I'm running off to Ethiopia...
是的 你用手吃饭 特别奇妙 Sure, you eat with your hands. It's fantastic.
- 人人合餐 还有 还有那个… - 我… 我… - Everybody shares, and, and the thing... - I... I...
- 我不喜欢离开这片大陆 你懂吧… - 不去吗? - I don't like to leave the continent, you know. - No?
- 呐 - 好吧 你知道吗? - Nah. - All right. You know what?
我们在礼拜三中午吃顿饭 再看看会如何 We'll start lunch Wednesday. We'll see where it goes.
答应我 然后你就能走了 Say yes to me and you can go.
- 好的 - 好的 - Okay. - Okay.
你知道吗 我跟你讲过没有 You know, did I ever tell you
有一次我大告别做早了 that I once did a, uh, premature Big Goodbye?
那什么意思？你告别了但是没走吗？ So what does that mean? You said goodbye and then you didn't leave?
- 我做了大告别然后我没有… - 什么鬼 - I did a Big Goodbye and then I didn't... - Come on.
- 然后我没走 - 他们做何反应？生气了吗？ - And I didn't leave. - And what did they do? They were mad?
- 大约一个小时以后 我在厨房碰见了她 - 什么鬼 - I ran into her in the kitchen about an hour later. - Come on.
那你说什么？说了些什么？ And what do you say? What do you even say?
她说"我以为你走了" 我说"这个嘛 你看 She said, "I thought you left." I said, "Well, you know.
我…遇到了点事儿" 我也不知道 I got, uh... something happened." I don't know.
我就编了个故事 I made up a story.
我 但我没想到… I, but I, I can't believe that...
他知道大告别 that he knew about the Big Goodbye.
真的对我来说难以置信 That was unbelievable to me.
好嘛 我没想到你知道我感冒之后还会亲吻我 Well, I can't believe that you kissed me when you knew I had a cold.
这真的很不可思议 That was pretty unbelievable.
是呀 你… Yeah. You...
我愿意再做一次 I would do it again.
哇哦 拉里 Wow, Larry.
我们干了什么？ What are we doing?
在我们开始聊那个之前 By the way, before we get into that,
你知不知道你这个桌子会摇晃 are you aware that you have a wobbly table here?
你看 看这个桌子 晃个不停 Look at this. Look at this table. It's unbelievable.
- 你晚上怎么睡得着 - 我没有这个困扰 - I, I don't know how you can go to bed at night. - Yeah, it doesn't bother me.
如果你家所有的桌子都这样晃 If all tables in your house wobbled,
你也没问题吗？这样的房子你也能住吗？ you could live like that? You could in a wobble- house?
我们得聊聊特德 我们得聊聊刚刚发生的事 We need to talk about Ted. We need to talk about everything that just happened here.
- 聊什么 - 你说呢 - What? - What?
- 这有什么可聊的 - 别... - What are you so... - Oh...
我是你的前夫 I'm, I'm your ex- husband.
特德是个好人 Ted is such a good person.
不 他才不是什么好人 好吗？ No, he's not such a good person, okay?
好人才不会去勾搭他的好朋友的前妻 You don't do that. You don't date a friend's ex- wife.
这哪是人干的事 I mean, it's crazy.
- 你知道我是什么感受吗 - 什么感受 - You know what it is? - Now... what?
每当我和你在一起的时候 I think when I'm with you, it makes me feel...
- 我都对自己感觉良好 - 更加道德高尚了 - ... better about myself? - Morally superior.
- 是的 - 没错 - Yes. - Yes.
- 我身边很多人都这么说 - 我也不是完人 - I hear that a lot. Yeah. - Yeah. So, I'm not perfect,
- 但至少我比你强多了 - 你比我高尚多了 - but at least I'm better than you. - You're better than me.
我对你说的很有共鸣 I can relate to what you're saying,
虽然我没有感觉我比谁更高尚 'cause I don't, I don't feel that way with people.
- 我感觉我比别人都更差劲 - 没错 - I feel morally inferior to people. - Yeah.
但我觉得我比动物高级 因为它们太蠢了 But I feel that way with animals 'cause they're generally so stupid,
尤其是昆虫 我可以碾碎它们 and I can... especially insects, I can crush them.
动物们还自相残杀 You know, and, and they eat each other.
对比那些疯狂的动物们 I mean, they're crazy, animals. So, yeah.
我也感觉自己更加聪明 更加高尚 I feel smarter and morally superior to them.
- 嘿 那个...我问你一下 - 你说 - Hey. Uh... Let me ask you something. - Yeah?
有没有可能 Is there any chance that...
我们会再续前缘？ we might meet up again?
走着看吧 We'll see.
- 你不能留在这里 - 我给你说啊 - You can't stay here. - I'm gonna tell you something, okay?
- 如果我们可以复合 - 嗯 - If we ever got back together... - Yeah.
然后这个桌子出现在了咱俩的床头 ... and somehow this table appeared on, on our bedside...
- 嗯？ - 我肯定会马上把它给修好 - Yeah? - ... it would be fixed immediately.
- 马上修好 - 我的天啊 - Immediately. - Oh, my God.
- 我可忍不了乱晃的桌子 - 拉里 别说了 - I could not live with a wobbly table. - Larry, please.
- 走吧 - 好的 - Go. - Okay.
哟呵！ Ha- ha!
- 怎么了 - 你去哪了？ - What? - Where the fuck you been at?
- 你算老几 你是我妈吗？- 当然是 - What are you? My mother? - Fuck yeah, I am.
我去参加派对去了 我在杰夫的派对上 All right, I was at a party, okay? I was at Jeff's party.
- 派对早就结束了- 哈？ - That party was over a long time ago. - Huh?
没错 就是这样了...你出去鬼混被我逮到了 Yeah. This right here... This right here? It's called tappin' hours.
你肯定是去鬼混了 不然不会这么晚回来 This is the hours when people are tappin' ass.
我才没有出去鬼混 I'm not tappin'. I'm not tappin'.
老年白种男人这么晚了不应该还在外边的 Older white men should not be out this fuckin' late.
又没有什么深夜游艇俱乐部 或者深夜庭院甩卖 There's no late- night yacht club, or late- night garage sales
你肯定是出去鬼混了 and shit like that. You out here fuckin'.
我出去鬼混的时候 我回来都会告诉你 When I'm tappin', I always tell you.
我一回到家就告诉你我去了哪里 I come home and spread the fuckin' news.
你想知道我出去和谁鬼混了吗 你想知道吗 You wanna know who I'm tappin'? You wanna know who I'm tappin'?
你在和谁鬼混 Who the fuck you tappin'?
我逃不掉了 这个菲尔罗森塔尔 I can't get out of it. It's Phil Rosenthal. He's just...
该怎么办 你要拒绝一个人多少次才行？ What do you do? How many times can you say no?
你就不能跟他做个大告别吗？ You couldn't do the Big Goodbye?
我试图跟他大告别 但被他看穿了 I did the Big Goodbye. He saw right through it.
啊！要不然这样 Ah! You know what I'll do?
我在你们吃饭中途给你打电话 I'll call you in the middle of lunch.
跟你说有突发情况 你必须赶紧过来 Say it's an emergency and you gotta go.
上次和他吃饭用过这招了 I did that the last time I had lunch with him.
我的天 这家伙这是没完没了 Oh, boy. That guy's relentless.
嘿 拉里 昨天的派对不错吧 哈？ Hey, Lar, that was some party last night, huh?
- 确实是个不错的派对 - 你玩得开心吗？ - Yeah, it was a great party. - You had a good time?
- 不错 我玩得挺开心的 - 那就好 - I did. I had a nice time. - Yeah.
所以是你开车送谢丽儿回家的吗？ So you drove Cheryl home?
没错 Yep.
你可真好 That was very nice of you.
- 因为特德出城了 - 我确实是个好人 - Considering Ted's out of town... - Yeah. I'm a nice guy.
- 是啊 - 这是我应该做的 - Yeah. - Yeah. I'm a nice guy.
所以 你就把她送到地方就离开了吗 So, what, did you just drop her off, or...
- 是 差不多 - 嗯 - Yeah. Pretty much. - Hmm.
把她送到地方 互道晚安 我就开车回家了 Dropped her off. Said good night. Went on my merry way.
嗯嗯 Mm- hmm.
- 你有什么言外之意... - 不 没有没有 - Is there something you would like to know, or... - No, no, no.
你有什么别的要说的吗？嗯... Something you're not saying? Um...
咋了 我就不能单纯地 You know, can I person not just ask
- 问你一个普通的问题吗？ - 但你这可不是什么普通的问题 - a, a normal question? - No, they're not normal questions.
- 里面包含了太多的暗示 - 你在诱导我 - There's a lot of implications. A lot of implications. - You're fishing...
你在钓鱼执法 You're on a little fishing expedition.
你要知道 你们俩可真是有问题 You know, you two are something.
- 你们老是编造这种... - 是我们的错吗 - You two make crap up... - We're something?
你猜啥 你才有问题呢 You know what? You're something.
别把派对的剩菜全吃了 不然我们今晚没吃的了 Don't eat all the leftovers. We need them for dinner.
- 我不会的 - 你才有问题呢 - Sure, I won't. - You're something.
- 老子想吃就吃 - 没错 - I'll eat whatever the fuck I want. - That's right.
嘿 所以你到底和谢丽儿睡了没 Hey. Did you sleep with Cheryl?
- 睡了 - 是吗 - Yeah. - You did?
- 是的 听着 - 嗯 - Yeah. Listen. - Ah.
这事不能让苏西知道 绝不能 You cannot say anything to Susie. Cannot.
千万不能让她知道 谢丽儿让我保密的 Under any circumstances. Cheryl swore me to secrecy.
她都不让我告诉你 She didn't want me to tell you.
但我肯定要告诉你 这我怎么忍得住 But I had to. I couldn't... How could I not?
我也是人啊 老天有眼 I'm a human being, for God's sake.
- 我觉得这很好 - 是吗 - I think it's great. - Right?
是 你希望你们俩最后是什么结果 Yes. Wha... What are you hoping to get out of it, though?
我希望我们两个可以复合 I'm hoping to get back together, but...
- 如果可以再见到她我会很开心的 - 嗯 - I'll be surprised if I see her again. - Hmm.
周六还去打高尔夫吗 We on for golf on Saturday?
说到这事 Yeah. Um...
阿尼诺顿问他可不可以也一起去 Arnie Norton asked if he could play.
我才不想跟他一起打高尔夫呢 他支持川普 I'm not playing with him. He's a Trump supporter.
- 我永远都不会和川普支持者一起打高尔夫 - 真的吗？ - Never play with a Trump supporter. - Really?
看着他戴着那个帽子到处走 See him around town with that hat.
上面写着"美国复兴" "Make America Great Again."
我才不要看那些狗屁玩意儿呢 I don't need that crap.
他...他让我压根不想靠近他 He just... He makes me want to not be anywhere near him.
我不知道 你可以问问卡尔 看看他要不要来 I don't know. You can check with Carl. See if he wants to play.
我得走了 I gotta go.
- 噢 你好哇 - 嗨 - Oh, hello, there. - Hi.
嗨 我是菲尔罗森塔尔 我有一个十二点的预定 Hi. I'm Phil Rosenthal. I have a twelve o'clock.
是的 大卫先生已经到了 Oh, yes. Mr. David's already here.
- 他到了吗 - 是的 您跟我来 - He is? Wow. - Yes. Right this way.
- 让人刮目相看啊 - 他早就到了 - Very impressive. - He was early.
请慢享用 Enjoy.
嘿 菲尔 Hey, Phil!
很高兴见到你 坐吧 坐吧 Good to see you. Sit. Sit down. Sit down.
真开心我们又可以聚到一起了 这真是个好主意 Boy, I'm so glad we did this. It was such a good idea.
你是对的 You, you were definitely right.
我快饿死了 希望这家的菜好吃 I'm, I'm starving. I hope this place is good.
嗯 嗯 这家店非常棒 Yeah, yeah, it's great. It's big portions
菜码很大 各种都很棒 on the food and everything. It's really...
整体感觉很好 a fantastic place. Um...
你知道吗 我最近啊... You know what else? I've been thinking...
我最近在思考那个埃塞俄比亚的事 Really thinking about this Ethiopia thing.
哦那个 我听说我们在削减预算 Yeah, actually, I heard that we have some budget cuts,
去埃塞俄比亚拍摄又太贵了 and Ethiopia's a little... ex- expensive to shoot in.
"烂国家"(shithole countries)： 特朗普2018年1月在总统办公室会议上，对部分非洲国家的称呼，引发很大争议
那是不是一个"烂国家" Wasn't that one of the shithole countries?
我忘了它在不在清单上面了 I can't remember if that was on the list or not.
- 哇 你瞧瞧 我来消息了 - 噢！ - Oh, look. I'm getting a thing. - Oh!
噢 确实 你看这 嗯 呃... Oh, yeah. Oh, look at that. Um, uh...
我儿子的航班 呃 提前了 My son's flight, uh, got in early.
- 我得去送他 我得去送他 - 啊？不会吧 - And I gotta get him. I gotta go get him. - Oh! Really?
- 真的 嗯 真的 - 给他叫个车就好了嘛 - Yeah, no, really. - Let's... Send, send an Uber or something.
他得看到我本人 因为他有点焦虑 He needs to see me because he has a little anxiety.
别 别呀 你听我说 菲尔 No, no! You know what? Phil...
不 不 我们...我们改日再...那啥 No, no. We'll, we'll, we'll... We'll... something.
啊哈！ Ah!
加满 Fill her up.
- 啊哈！你好！- 好 - Ah! Arigato! - Yes.
- 谢谢[日语] - 好的 寿司吧台那边两位 - Arigato! - All right. Two seats at the sushi bar.
你知道么？实际上我更偏向于坐在桌子那边 麻烦了 You know what? Actually, I think we'd prefer to sit at a table, please.
啊 Huh.
伤心 Sad.
很伤心 伤心 Very sad. Sad.
- 嘿！你他妈的到底在干嘛？- 天 - Hey! What the fuck are you doing? - Whoa.
- 哦 天哪 哦 天哪 - 王八蛋！卧槽！ - Oh, God. Oh, God. - Motherfucker! What the fuck?
兄弟 你想干什么？ What are you trying to do, man?
- 你到底想干什么？- 哦 神啊 神啊 - What the fuck are you doing? You little fucker! - Oh, God. Oh, God.
- 抱歉 没看到你 - 搞什么啊？ - I'm sorry, I didn't see you. - What the fuck?
- 我很抱歉 我没看到你！ - 我应该把你从那该死的车上拽出来！ - I'm sorry, I didn't see you! - I'm ought to rip you outta that fuckin' car!
- 你个小垃圾 - 我很抱歉 没看到你 - You little shit. - I'm sorry. I didn't see you.
哦 那你下次注意点 好吧？ Oh. Just be more careful next time, okay?
下次注意 下次注意 好的 感谢你 Will do. Will do. Okay. Thank you.
Now, now, now...
I want my coffee and my Danish right now, now, now
你在...你在这干什么？ What are you... What are you doing here?
什么叫我在这干什么？ What do you mean what am I doin' here?
- 过来 出来 我有话和你说 - 你过来 - Come here. Come out. I want to talk to you. - You come here.
- 不 搞快 过来这边 - 不 你过来 - No, come on. Come on out here. - No, you come.
- 搞快 有话和你说 搞快 - 我不会走的 你过来 - Come on. I want to talk to you. Come on. - I'm not leaving. You come.
- 你过来 过来 - 唉 草了 - You come. You come. - Aw, fuck it.
你在这里干什么？你说你要抵制这家店 What are you doing here? You said you were gonna boycott this place.
我是在抵制这家店 I am boycotting this place.
哦 这就是抵制？坐在这里喝咖啡？ Oh, this is a boycott? Sitting here drinking coffee?
那是抵...那可真是抵制 That's a boy... That's quite a boycott.
我告诉过你 在我的余生里 I told you, for the rest of my dying days,
我再也不会和你一起来这个地方了 I will never come to this place with you.
- 永远 - 这不是你说的 - Ever. - That's not what you said.
- 我说过我曾... - 你说过你抵制这个地方 - I said I was... - You said you're boycotting this place.
并且你永远不会回这个地方 可不是只说和我 And you're never coming back here. You didn't say with me.
你是干什么的？我的犹太傀儡主人？ What are you? My Jewish puppet master?
当我独自一人的时候 我可以任意行事 I can do whatever the fuck I want alone,
- 但是和你我永远不会来这里 - 听着！ - but with you, I will never come in here. - Look!
我以我的姓名发誓 I swear on my life.
谁他妈的需要你来抵制 Who the fuck needs you for a boycott
如果我已经开始抵制了？我不需要你 if I'm boycotting already? I don't need you
去抵制 你说你在抵制 to boycott. You said you're boycotting,
- 但是你没有 - 你说完了么？ - but you didn't boycott. - Are you done?
我...我不明白 我 I... I don't understand. I...
我不明白你 I don't understand you.
哦 我的天 现在她又开始喝咖啡了 Oh, my God. Now she's drinking coffee!
- 那是谁？ - 难以置信 - Who's that? - It's unbelievable.
- 谁？ - 苏西的朋友 我之前某天在健身房见过她 - Who? - Susie's friend. I saw her in the gym the other day.
她怀孕八个月了 还在跑步机上跑步 She's eight months pregnant. She was running on a treadmill.
她不怎么关心她的胎儿 She has no regard for this fetus.
她现在又在喝咖啡 Now she's drinking coffee.
顺便说一句 这杯咖啡 太难以令人相信 太妙了 This coffee, by the way, is unbelievable. It's fantastic.
- 热的么？ - 非常热 - Is it hot? - It's very hot.
我来看一下 Let me see that for a second.
嘿 别摸我的...我不喜欢...不要摸它 Hey, don't touch my... I don't like... Don't touch it.
多么的...嘿 住手！ What the... Hey, stop it!
你是什么 一只鹅吗？ What are you, a fuckin' goose?
好吧 这不是一杯热咖啡 好吗？ Okay. That's not hot coffee, okay?
如果咖啡是热的 我的鼻子已经烫没了 If that was hot coffee, I, I would have burned my nose.
谁需要你鼻测咖啡温度？我才不想要鼻测！ Who asked for a nose test? I didn't want a nose test!
- 怎么回事 你疯了么？ - 不热啊 - What, are you outta your mind? - Not hot.
你们这里什么情况？ What the hell is going on here?
- 他有打扰你到吗 路易斯先生？ - 有 他打扰到我了 - Is he bothering you, Mr. Lewis? - Yes, he's bothering me.
- 哦 真的么？ - 嗯 确实是 - Oh, really? - Yeah, really.
你猜啥 拉里 滚出去 You know what, Larry? Get out.
- 啊 - 接下来这么办 - Huh. - This is what it's come to.
你被拉黑了 今生我再也不想在这里见到你了 You're banned. For life. I never wanna see you in here again.
- 是这样的么？ - 是啊 你被拉黑了！出去！ - Is that so? - Yeah. You're banned. Banned! Get out!
我巴不得呢 With pleasure.
记住我的话 摩卡乔 Mark my words, Mocha Joe,
要好好的记下来 and mark them well.
我不知以什么形式 也不知是什么时候 I don't know how, and I don't know when,
但我会报复你的 but I will exact vengeance.
天在看 As God is my witness,
不是你死 I will bring you to the brink of extinction,
就是我亡 or I will die trying.
- 新年快乐 摩卡乔 - 新年快乐 拉里 - Happy New Year, Mocha Joe! - Happy New Year, Larry.
嘿 新年快乐 兄弟 Hey, Happy New Year, man.
新年快乐 Happy New Year.
你好 这里是拉里大卫办公室 Hello, Larry David's office.
我的名字是瓦莱丽阿什伯恩 Hi, my name is Valerie Ashburn.
我想和拉里大卫通话 I'd like to speak to Larry David.
好的 我可以知道是什么事情么？ Yes, may I ask what this is regarding?
当然 是关于他在派对上性骚扰我的事 Sure. This is regarding him sexually assaulting me at a party.
哦 我的天 我很抱歉 什么... Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. What...
发生了什么？ What happened?
我在一个派对上吃东西 I was catering at a party.
拉里用眼睛骚扰我 Larry was molesting me with his eyes、、
整个晚上都是 然后等我走到食品储藏室 the entire night. And then when I went into a pantry,
他跟我进去 然后逼我到墙角 he followed me in, cornered me,
然后他抓住我的胸 我很幸运我从那个地方出去了 and he grabbed my breast. I was lucky to get out of there.
- 你知道他也对我做过类似的事情么？ - 不知道 - You know he did something like that to me, too? - No.
- 哦 我的天啊 - 嗯 - Oh, my God. - Yeah.
过去一切都好 直到一天他... Everything was fine. And one day he...
问到了我胳膊上的纹身 asked about a tattoo I have on my arm,
然后我不想告诉他纹身的意义 and I wouldn't tell him what it meant,
之后他就对此着迷了 and then he got obsessive about it.
一直问我为什么要纹这个在我的胳膊上 And why did I have it on my arm,
为什么我不把它纹在屁股上 一个私人的地方 and why didn't I have it on my butt, somewhere private.
好吧 所以这就是一个套路 Okay. So this is a pattern.
哦 是啊 这还只是一个开始 Oh, yeah. And that's just the beginning.
去他妈的！ What the fuck!
日！ Fuck!
垃圾 Shit.
去他的 死狗 Damn it. Frickin' dog.
他还抓着我的衬衫擦他的眼镜 And he grabbed my shirt to wipe his glasses.
别挂 我必须要去关一下门 Hold on. I have to shut the door.
- 拉里？ - 我马上就出去 - Larry? - I'll be out in a second.
好的 Okay.
- 你穿浴袍干嘛？ - 哦 - What's with the robe? - Oh.
我把麦片溅到衬衫上了 'Cause I spit cereal up all over my shirt,
因为里面有狗毛 because there was dog hair in it.
- 好恶心啊 - 是吧？ - Disgusting. - Right?
所以...发生了什么？你怎么... So... what's going on? What do you...
怎么 你来这里干什么？你已经很久没来这里了 What, what are you doing here? You haven't been here in a year.
你到底怎么了？ What the fuck is going on with you?
- 你在说什么啊？ - 你戴了一顶MAGA帽 - What are you talking about? - You're wearing a MAGA hat
在寿司餐厅？ at a sushai restaurant?
- 是真的么？ - 好吧 我确实有戴那顶帽子 - Is that true? - Well, I did have the hat on, yeah.
- 什么 你支持特朗普？ - 不 不是 - What, are you pro-Trump? - No, no.
听着 我之所以想到戴那帽子 Look, I got this idea to wear that hat
- 是为了不和菲尔罗森塔尔共进午餐 - 嗯 - so I wouldn't have to have lunch with Phil Rosenthal. - Mm.
它就像一段咒语 他看见我戴着帽子就离开了餐馆 And it worked like a charm. He saw me in the hat and he left the restaurant.
- 令人惊奇 - 我并不惊讶 - It was amazing. - I'm not surprised.
你猜啥？它真的很方便 You know what? It's really comin' in handy.
是啊 这样就不会有任何一个人想接近你了 Yeah, 'cause no one's gonna wanna be anywhere near you.
没错！是的 它真的很容易令人厌恶 Exactly! It's, it's a great people repellent.
你知道 听着 当你是名人的时候 You know, look. When you're a celebrity,
你可以做任何你想的事 你甚至可以抓她们的屁股... you can do anything you want. You can grab 'em by the pussy...
- 你在说什么？- 什么？ - What did you say? - What?
你为什么穿着浴袍？ Why are you wearing a bathrobe?
- 还有这顶帽子 - 哦 别 不要！别 我... - And that hat! - Oh, no, no! No, I...
哦 我的天 你是这个怪物的朋友么？ Oh, my God! You're friends with that monster?
- 不 我... - 不是！ - No, I'm... - No!
- 不不不不不 - 别啊 不是... - No, no, no, no, no! - No! No, no, I'm just...
我要找个律师！ I'm getting a lawyer!
别！什么？嘿！什么？ No! What? Hey! What?
别啊！我穿着浴袍 No! I'm in the bathrobe
因为你的狗毛 'cause your fuckin' dog got hair
在我的燕麦碗里到处都是 all over my cereal bowl,
而且他不是韦恩斯坦！ and that's not Weinstein!
出 租
乔家 摩卡
乔 家 摩 卡
出 租
- 这地方我要了 - 都归你了 - I'll take it. - It's all yours.
你来这儿干什么 拉里？ What are you doin' here, Larry?
我记得我叫你滚出去别再来了 I thought I told you to get out and not come back.
没错 你是这么说了 摩卡乔 你的确说了 Yeah, so you did, Mocha Joe. So you did.
我只是来告知你 I've merely come to inform you
我已经租下了隔壁的门店 that I have leased the place next door,
我会在隔壁开一家咖啡馆 where I'll be opening up a coffee shop
跟你这家一模一样 exactly the same as yours.
但是价格会超低 Only charging much lower prices.
一切只为 All for the express purpose
把你搞垮 of taking you down.
尽管放马过来 我欢迎竞争 Knock yourself out. I welcome the competition.
- 行 - 我才不怕你 你没有我的咖啡豆 - Yeah. - I'm not afraid of you. You don't have the beans.
全洛杉矶只有我一个人有这种咖啡豆 I'm the only guy in Los Angeles who has these beans.
- 是吗 我能搞来豆子 - 哦 你找不来比我的豆子更好的 - Yeah. I'll get beans. - Oh, you won't find better beans than my beans.
我能搞到更好的豆子 I'll get better beans.
- 不存在更好的豆子 - 当然有更好的豆子 摩卡乔 - No such thing as better beans. - There are better beans, Mocha Joe.
没有比我的更好的了 拉里 No better beans, Larry.
- 我会找到更好的豆子 - 嗯哼 祝你好运 - I will find better beans. - Mm - hmm, good luck.
回见 拉里 See ya, Larry.
- 你猜我要起个什么店名？ - 啥？ - You know what I'm gonna call it? - What?
拉家拿铁 Latte Larry's.
我能进门吗 Can I come in?
当...当然 Y- yes.
- 进吧 进吧 - 你确定？ - Yes, yes. - Are you sure?
嗯 我确定 有点惊讶而已 Yeah, I'm positive. I'm a little surprised, is all.
- 进来吧 - 好 - Come in. - Okay.
- 哇哦 - 呃... - Wow. - Well...
天呐 我不能... Holy cow. I can't...
- 我不能相信你来了 - 你说过的 是吧？我是说... - I can't believe you're here. - You told me, right? I mean...
呃... Um...
等我两分钟 Give me two minutes.
就两分钟 马上回来 你就呆在这儿 Two minutes. I'll be right back. Stay right there.
哈哈！ Ha- ha!
- 还让不让人看电影了 你想干啥 - 我需要爽身粉 - Fuckin' my movie up. What you want? - I need that talcum powder.
- 出啥事了 - 紧急情况 快给我点爽身粉！ - What you got goin' on? - It's an emergency. Get me the talcum powder!
操！ Fuck!
你要跟谁鬼混？ Who you tappin'?
谢丽儿 Cheryl.
啥？我哥们儿拉里大卫又跟她鬼混上了！ What? My man Larry David re- tappin' that ass!
噢 Ooh.
你下面拍粉了？ Did you powder down there?
- 不行吗？ - 我过敏 - No good? - I'm allergic.
哦！哦 天呐 Oh! Oh, my God.
哦 天呐 Oh, my God.
哦！快打911！ Oh! Call 9- 1- 1!
放松点 Easy.
嘿 老天 慢点 Hey. Jesus, slow down.
- 发生什么了？ - 哦 她 呃 她吞了点爽身粉 - What happened? - Oh, she, uh, swallowed some talcum powder,
出现过敏反应了 and is having an allergic reaction to it.
她吞下别的东西了吗？ Did she ingest anything else?
这算私人问题吧 你不觉得吗？ Kind of a personal question, don't you think?
真抱歉！ So sorry!
哦 我的天 你看起来好多了 Oh, my God. You look so much better.
- 是吗？ - 哦 开玩笑吗？ - Do I? - Oh. Are you kidding?
我刚才都不敢看你 那也太... I couldn't even look at you before. I mean, it was...
真的 可怕 你看起来...很恶心 really, like, hideous. You looked... disgusting.
我都不敢看你 I could barely glance at you.
是啊 拜你所赐 Yeah, because of you.
是啊 Yeah.
是你把爽身粉擦到...呃 我对那个过敏 然后你... You're the one that put the talcum powder... Uh, I'm allergic, and you...
- 都是因为你 - 是 没错 我很抱歉 - It's because of you. - Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
对 但是你知道吗 我在想 Yeah. But you know, I was thinking,
假如这事发生在我们还没离婚的时候 if that happened when we were married
然后你的脸...不管什么原因吧 一直保持这样 and your face... for some reason, stayed that way,
我会怎么做？ what would I have done?
什么叫你会怎么做？ What do you mean what would you have done?
呃 我是说 如果你的脸那样的话 我能跟你继续过下去吗？ Well, I mean, could I have lived with you looking like that?
你真是个混球 You're such an asshole.
你真的...我都命悬一线了 You are such... I mean, I'm, I'm fighting for my life,
然后这就是你要...苏西？ and this is what you're... Susie?
你们在这儿干嘛呢？ What are you guys doing here?
你...你在这儿干嘛呢？ What are you... What are you doing here?
兰迪开始宫缩了... Randi had contractions, and...
她现在在大厅里来回走走 试着催生 She's walking around the halls trying to induce,
因为还没什么动静 我就想我来陪陪她 'cause nothing's happening, so I thought I'd come and keep her company.
- 兰迪也在这儿？ - 是的 谢丽儿 你怎么了？ - Randi's here? - Yeah. Cheryl, what happened?
- 她被黄蜂蛰了 - 我海鲜过敏了 - She got stung by a wasp. - I had an allergic reaction to shellfish.
行吧 Okay.
我就知道 我就知道你俩有猫腻 I knew it. I knew something was going on with you two.
我都能闻出来 I could smell it.
那天晚上在我们家 口技木偶演员 That night at our house. The ventriloquist.
他载你回家 肯定有事发生 He drove you home. Something's been going on here.
我就知道！我就知道！ I knew it. I knew it!
真棒！ Bravo!
真棒啊 大侦探波洛 Bravo, Poirot.
哦 不是吧 嘿 Oh, no. Hey.
- 特德到车库了 - 什么？ - Ted is in the garage. - What?
- 他正在上楼 - 啥？ - He's on his way up. - What?
你...你不能出现在这儿 You... You can't be here.
你最好快走 你还是走吧 拉里 You better leave. You better leave, Larry.
他怎么...他怎么知道你在医院？ How does he... How does he know you're in the hospital?
因为他刚从旧金山飞回来 Because he just flew in from San Francisco
落地就给我发消息了 我... and he texted me when he landed. I...
因为他是她的另一半 Because he's her significant other,
而你是她的啥都不是 and you're her significant nothing!
- 你就闭嘴吧你！ - 快走吧！ - Just keep your fuckin' trap shut! - Go!
哦 Oh.
嘿！ Hey!
慢点吧！ Just slow down!
喂 先生！ Excuse me, sir!
- 天呐！ - 哦！哦 我的天！ - God! - Oh! Oh, my God!
- 拉里！ - 是你？ - Larry! - You?
你他妈逗我的吗 你个烂人？ Are you fucking kidding me, you piece of shit?
行 如果宝宝出了任何事 Okay, if anything happens to this baby,
都是你的错 it's gonna be your fault.
哦 得了吧 比起这个胎儿经历过的那些事 Oh, please. After what that fetus has been through,
这简直是海滩一日游 this'll be a day at the beach.
新年快乐！ Happy New Year!
英语字幕来源：subscene.com 字幕翻译与制作：610/moki/小年糕/饽饽/744/聊无
It's a coffee place.
I'm opening up a spite store to take him out of business.
I don't know what a spite store is and I don't really care.
Can I give you a little tip?
If you're gonna confront somebody,
better to do it with pants on.
The shorts...
It's hard to take a person seriously wearing shorts.
I wanna give you a heads up.
Susie's birthday's in about a week.
I already got her something. It's gonna be a nice surprise.
What is it?
What were you thinking?
I'm done with presents!
My birthday's coming up in a month.
- What are you getting me?! - Nothing!
- Oh, thank you! - You're welcome!